since deviantart finally decided to take down the picture of my jizzing sparkledick (it took them a year), i will post it here, with the unfinished story that goes with it

enter the world

of PROTOMANS



my new book about 6-year old children who were turned into raccoons by an evil witch now they must become children pirates and go to the magic island of magic to be turned back

it's a wonderful tale of growing up and

and shit

it will be released to most childrens' bookstores. you can recognize it by its distinct cover, which features an erect, six inch penis, ejaculating glitter and stars, and bulky, iron text covered in rust and bullet holes, reading, "PROTOMANS"

here is an exclusive excerpt from the thrilling tale:

and then the witch showed up, right? and she like, turned them into raccoons and shit. fuggin' crazy. they were people? and then bam. racoons. holy shit.

"aw fuck! we're raccoons now." yeah I guess you'r e
right and yeah they were raccoons basically, because the witch made them raccons a minute ago. then the witch left, and they were like, "shit, what the fuck are we gonna do?" "I know we will be pirates" "yeah"

look for it in stores !!

PREPARE YOUR BUTTHOLES FOR THE WHOLE STORY!!!

( PLEASE READ ALOUD IN A CLICHE NEW YORK TOUGH GUY ACCENT )

i should really finish writing it, that thing is a goddamn masterpiece

ill post art that isnt dicks drawn in mspaint over a year ago eventually i promise

(im lying)

based on things people said in a tf2 game, after red team won for the third time



after soldier guy said that, the server erupted in "OH SNAP"s and "DAAAAAAAMMNN"s

http://www.idleidiots.com/dickparty/tf2comic-epilogue.PNG

because otherwise its like whats the point of the other 30 or whatever i have, theyre all great but i keep forgetting and just using that same one with the giant pixels like OH SHE LIKES PIXELS WHAT A GEEKY NERDY OLD SCHOOL 8-BIT NINTENDOpfadfjkgnbkfhljuh barf

i wonder if anyone reads this anymore, maybe i should actually use it sometimes

(3:26:03 PM) Danny: tell colby happy birthday yesterday for me
(3:26:13 PM) Charley: okay
(3:26:16 PM) Charley: do you have any time juice
(3:26:18 PM) Charley: for my time machine
(3:26:23 PM) Danny: fuck
(3:26:32 PM) Danny: i used it all last night while watching big time wrestling

damn pitfall guy must be coordinated as FUCK look at those smooth curves and shit god DAMN
see because like
mine would look
a lot more like this

( A COMIC SORT OF )

based on this gif and the following realization that HOLY SHIT LINK IS SO FAT I NEVER EVEN REALIZED



[6/15/2010 10:12:49 AM] Charley: I never thought link was that fat
[6/15/2010 10:13:03 AM] Charley: but apparently he is just a dumpy little thing
[6/15/2010 10:13:07 AM] Charlotte Canterbury: fdshgdhfghgf
[6/15/2010 10:13:12 AM] Charley: kinda waddling around
[6/15/2010 10:13:23 AM] Charlotte Canterbury: fdsfhgfhf
[6/15/2010 10:13:32 AM] Charley: thrusting his sword in front of him with his entire body weight because nobody told him you dont do that with swords
[6/15/2010 10:14:06 AM] Charley: old man was just like here take this fucking sword get out of here you gross fatty and then link was like how do I swords???? ??
[6/15/2010 10:14:20 AM] Charlotte Canterbury: gddfshfdahfdh
[6/15/2010 10:14:56 AM] Charley: I can just imagine him with this derpy kate beaton pony face, running around accidentally being a badass
[6/15/2010 10:15:08 AM] Charlotte Canterbury: gfdhgf
[6/15/2010 10:15:12 AM] Charley: he finds the magic sword and it shoots out lasers and hes like "cool"
[6/15/2010 10:15:29 AM] Charley: he just kind of waves it around and it shoots every bad guy
[6/15/2010 10:15:53 AM] Charley: he trips and falls over his tiny tiny legs every ten feet

freeform haiku
any old shit
on a page